sunday, february 6th, 2011.

i wasn't lying, but you said with such confidence that I was. you always want me to be happy, but you're never happy with who i am. how does that make sense? you act as if everything is so clear, but you can't see past the walls you've built. i'm broken and so are you. why should we pretend the world is any different than this?

are my proclamations of peace only a curse? because when i shout righteous anger you call me a passive-aggressive fake. how can i fight for peace if my hammer against the walls of falsehood is seen as destruction itself? oh you are so backwards! you love to take lies and decorate them in the language of truth. i wish no evil repayment to you, only that your mouth would be silenced until you find a reverence again for 'good', for 'truth'; for purity & unity rather than secrets & dissension.

all of your attempts to build your castles, to build your ladders, to distinguish yourselves and separate yourselves, may they burn! i'm done with this complacency, i will light a match and invite my friends to do the same. may your traditions, your lies, your false pretensions, your costumes, may they burn away, like chaff, leaving only what's real, bare and exposed.

most of you will write me off, call me a looney. call me a deranged soul, a lost sheep. but i invite your persecutions. i expect them. i know the stones are falling, because i hit the walls with my hammer. it would be no surprise, because you already call the words of Abba "foolishness" and rely on your own formations of language instead.

does it make you feel good? does it give you comfort to construct your own choice theology that conveniently supports all that you want in this life?

oh to be like a child, of purity, trusting every word his Father speaks! may we trust like child, a fool to the world!